Save Your Marriage

Resentments and affairs... how to move on

2012-02-24T07:22:00.001-08:00

I like this quote from Rick Warren, the author of The Purpose Driven Life.

“Resentment always hurts you more than it does the person you resent. While your offender has probably forgotten the offense and gone on with life, you continue to stew in your pain, perpetuating the past. Listen: those who hurt you in the past cannot continue to hurt you now unless you hold on to the pain through resentment. Your past is past! Nothing will change it. You are only hurting yourself with your bitterness. For your own sake, learn from it, and then let it go.”

BUT, he doesn't show you how.

It's a good idea and most of us agree with it, but then we're left with the question of how to make that happen.

If you're carrying big resentments, such as that of a devastating betrayal or affair, let me show you how to move on... and thrive!

http://www.ThriveAfterTheAffair.com

Dr. Max

How much is your resentment hurting YOU?

Time to move on

http://www.ThriveAfterTheAffair.com

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Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

bless your wife

2012-02-23T06:43:00.001-08:00

“It is important for a husband to understand that his words have tremendous power in his wife’s life. He needs to bless her with words. She’s given her life to love and care for him, to partner with him, to create a family together, to nurture his children. If he is always finding fault in something she’s doing, always putting her down, he will reap horrendous problems in his marriage and in his life. Moreover, many women today are depressed and feel emotionally abused because their husbands do not bless them with their words. One of the leading causes of emotional breakdowns among married women is the fact that women do not feel valued. One of the main reasons for that deficiency is because husbands are willfully or unwittingly withholding the words of approval women so desperately desire. If you want to see God do wonders in your marriage, start praising your spouse. Start appreciating and encouraging her. Every single day, a husband should tell his wife, “I love you. I appreciate you. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.” A wife should do the same for her husband. Your relationship would improve immensely if you’d simply start speaking kind, positive words, blessing your spouse instead of cursing him or her.”
― Joel Osteen, Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential

Can you take the challenge?

- Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Terrifying Intimacy -- Can you handle it?

2012-02-22T08:10:00.001-08:00

Eventually I saw that the path of the heart requires a full gesture, a degree of abandon that can be terrifying. Only then is it possible to achieve a sparkling metamorphosis.
-Carlos Castaneda

Intimacy is not for the weak.

When you prepared to meet another person head on in the full presence of their personality - with true honesty on your part - you find that your knees will buckle, or you'll try to hide in your "personality" or "front."

Try it with your true self and see what rewards will come

- Dr. Max

http://www.CouplesCoach.com

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Don't Argue

2012-02-09T09:54:00.001-08:00

One of the biggest mistakes people make in their marriages is arguing.

It never turns out well.

Think back on every argument you ever had and then think about the result.

Was it ever positive?

Did you ever feel good afterwards (really... not just in the vengeful way).

If you want to try a new way, the answers are here:

http://www.CouplesCoach.com

- Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

I hear you, I'm listening

2012-02-08T13:39:00.001-08:00

I've been listening to you

For almost 30 years I've been listening to you and answering these questions:

Should we stay together? How do we know?

How can we keep the passion we had when we first got together?

Has too much water gone under the bridge for us to get our love back?

Will my partner ever hear me?

Why doesn't he say he loves me?

How do I get her to stop nagging at me?

Should marriage be this hard?

... and many others

Now you can get answers to all your questions click

I have good news and bad news.

The bad news is that the answers you are going to get in the "Same-Old" marriage advice are going to make your relationship worse.

They are going to confuse you and maybe even harden your heart.

The good - great - news is that there are new answers.

Those answers blow the lid off of the "old ways" and give you a brand new lease on relationships.

You need a brand new way to approach marriage.

It'a a brand new world and it's time for brand new answers.

That's what you'll find

Now you can get answers to all your questions click

To your great relationship future,
Dr. Max

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Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

What is a Soul Mate?

2012-02-07T11:19:00.001-08:00

Jennifer said to me about John: "I love him but he's not my Soul Mate."

This is her husband she's talking about.

I hear people use this term "Soul Mate" a lot.

It is accompanied by the premise "there's someone out there who is perfectly suited for me."

Now as a psychologist I have a couple thoughts for you about this.

It won't win me a popularity contest, but my promise to you is to shoot straight.

The first thought is that what most people mean by this term is "someone who is me."

In other words, the thought is that there's someone I'd be perfectly aligned with.

We'd agree on everything and be perfectly suited for each other.

We'd be on a perpetual honeymoon.

Passion would never die.

We would feel perfectly safe with each other.

We would intuitively know what the other is thinking, feeling and wanting.

We'd be mind readers of one another.

We'd anticipate each others' needs.

We'd never forget what was important to one another and always remember to be thoughtful.

Men would always put down the toilet seat and women would never nag.

If we were true Soul Mates we would know it and feel it 24 hours a day every day.

Now maybe that's not the way you see it but it's the way most people see it.

You might dismiss this analysis, but...

If you dig a little more deeply you might find out it's actually a fantasy you have.

Of course, it's what we feel during the first blush of love with one another.

And it's really wonderful, and it's essential to the long term health of the relationship to START OUT this way.

But it's even more essential to the long term health of the relationship to develop BEYOND that.

OK, this email has gotten a lot longer already than I thought it would.

Let me give you the second - the most shocking and eye-opening part of this 2 part series on Soul Mates...

TOMORROW.

Dr. Max

Have you taken the Divorce Test?

It's here:

http://www.EasyMarriageCounseling.com/bindex.html

If you have already done that and are ready for the next step, go here

http://CouplesCoach.com

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Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Clint Eastwood and your marriage...

2012-02-06T07:20:00.001-08:00

In a commercial during the SuperBowl yesterday, Clint Eastwood starred in a commercial.

The ad was for the big auto makers in Detroit and said they were coming back from the brink of disaster.

He talked about hope and pulling together for the future and had the great line "It's Halftime in America."

Meaning that the best was yet to come.

Turned out to be true in the game.

And it can also be true in your marriage.

You may feel you've been through a vale of troubles.

You may wonder if anything can get any better.

But I promise you that you can have a great intimate relationship.

I can't promise it will be easy...

But I will tell you this.

If you begin today with the thought and belief "It's halftime in our marriage..." and know that the best CAN be yet to come... this can work wonders.

All action begins in belief followed by action.

What you believe determines how you feel and what you do about it.

BELIEVE in your marriage and relationship.

Have FAITH.

Then you can move forward in a positive way.

Without faith in your future together, no actions will help.

Start by adopting a positive attitude and apply this immediately.

It will help... and you'll feel better in every other area of your life too.

Dr. Max

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Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

How to win the Super Bowl of Marriage (Men Only. No peeking, gals)

2012-02-05T08:20:00.001-08:00

Most of us husbands have discovered the hard way we don't know how to do the job.

By the hard way I mean, mostly we've been informed of what we're NOT doing.

By our wives.

Different guys respond to this in different ways.

Some get an attitude.

Some feel insulted.

Some get indifferent.

Some go have affairs.

Some really want to figure it out but don't know where the user's manual is.

I worked on this one for quite a while, both as a professional and a husband.

Now I'm going to save your bacon:

http://www.MakeHerAppreciateYou.com

- Dr. Max

P.S. No nonsense, just the straight skinny.

http://www.MakeHerAppreciateYou.com

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Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Find out if you're going to get a divorce, or be happily married http://www.EasyMarriageCounseling.com

2012-02-04T13:53:00.001-08:00

In just 3 minutes this test will predict whether you are likely to divorce - or stay together either happily or in misery.

http://www.EasyMarriageCounseling.com

Dr. Max

Try it, it's free

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Groundhog Marriage

2012-02-03T08:06:00.001-08:00

If you had a chance to do something different in your marriage from the past, what would it be?

If you had done that thing, might it have changed your whole marriage?

Just this week we had GroundHog Day.

I remembered the movie of the same name with Bill Murray.

The poor guy keeps reliving GroundHog Day - a not so pleasant day in his life - over and over again.

No matter what he tries, every morning he wakes up the next day and it's GroundHog Day all over again.

But finally things change and he awakens the next day with a new beginning.

What did he do differently?

He decided to use his knowledge and understanding - and compassion for others - to break the hold of this repeating nightmare.

And things change... and he gets the girl of his dreams.

Now how familiar does the FIRST part of this sound to you?

GroundHog Day in your marriage...

Same old same old every day...

Everything getting to be a routine... or worse, a drag, a nightmare, a terror...

What are you going to do to change things...

First you have to start with knowledge, like Bill Murray's character did.

Then you can take steps.

You have to understand things first, then take the steps.

In 3 minutes I can tell you your marriage situation.

Are you headed to divorce, staying together happy... or staying together and being miserable.

The Divorce Test will tell you the answer, in just 3 minutes.

Go here

http://www.EasyMarriageCounseling

Stop living GroundHog Marriage.

Dr. Max

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Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Rule #1 for a happy marriage

2012-02-02T09:04:00.001-08:00

People frequently ask me what the secret to happy long term relationships is.

There's really no one secret, there are many pieces to a happy marriage.

But I can tell you the #1, easiest and best rule:

Don't criticize your partner.

It's not your job to improve your partner.

It's not your job to "make them a better person in your own image."

Your job is to be faithful, loyal and supportive.

But Dr. Max, my husband never tells me he loves me.

But Dr. Max, my husband never talks to me.

Sorry of this sounds a bit harsh, but there's a reason that happens.

It's because you're too critical.

But Dr. Max my wife never initiates sex with me.

But Dr. Max, my wive always nags at me.

Right, there's a reason for all of it.

BUT there's never a reason to criticize, no matter what.

That knife cuts both ways.

Want your partner to stop being critical?

Take the lead.

First, YOU stop being critical.

It's a law of the universe.

What you put out comes back to you.

Take care of your own "bi-ness" first.

That's the #1 piece of advice I can give to you if you want to be happy in your marriage.

Go take the Divorce Test.

It includes pieces of this and you can rate your marriage.

http://www.EasyMarriageCounseling.com

Take care, be grateful for your life.

Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

If you wish to reap the fruits of a happy marriage

2012-01-20T14:41:00.001-08:00

The plan of action laid out here is the result of 30 years of professional study, professional observation and success with helping others from every background achieve success in marriage.

It has all been thoroughly tested and bears the ultimate test of practical proof.

It works.

If you wish to know how the conclusions were arrived at, read the works of the authors cited.

If you wish to reap the fruits of a happy marriage, use this program and do exactly what I tell you to do.

http://www.EasyMarriageCounseling.com

Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

The deepest and most powerful secrets of marriage

2012-01-19T12:37:00.001-08:00

The deepest and most powerful secrets of marriage have always been known to a select few people.

In the field of psychology you see this most fully demonstrated and studied in the work of Carl G. Jung.

If you have a few years or so to go into it, you can learn a lot by reading all of his Collected Works. I did.

If you want to know how your belief system created your current values and conclusions about relationships, go dig into my book "You Don't Have to Change Who You Are to Have a Great Marriage."

Many of my readers of that book said, "don't you have something simple and practical I can learn and follow in a day?"

That's what I've done for you in the Science of Happy Marriage.

In creating this program I have sacrificed all other considerations to simplicity of style to make it easy.

The plan of action laid out here is the result of 30 years of professional study, professional observation and success with helping others from every background achieve success in marriage.

It has all been thoroughly tested and bears the ultimate test of practical proof.

It works.

http://www.EasyMarriageCounseling.com

- Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

The Science of Happy Marriage is an Exact Science

2012-01-18T10:24:00.001-08:00

The Science of Happy Marriage is for those who want results and are willing to take the conclusions of science as a basis for action, without going into all the processes by which those conclusions were reached.

It is expected that you will take the basic statements on faith, just as you take gravity as a given in our world.

It is expected that you will prove the conclusions true for yourself by acting on them without fear or hesitation, just as you do with gravity.

Every couple - indeed every individual within a marriage - will certainly have a happy marriage if they follow this science to the letter.

For the science herein applied is an exact science and failure is impossible.

For the benefit, however, of those who wish to study more deeply into the research or philosophy behind conclusions, you can read the research of psychologists into relationships and then study the monistic theories of the universe.

The monistic theory of the universe is that One is All and All is One.

That One Substance of the universe, that bond which ties together all things is behind and in all things and makes everything work.

When you fight it, things don't work. When you work WITH it, things work.

There is no other option.

http://www.EasyMarriageCounseling.com

Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

It is for men and women who want a great relationship NOW

2012-01-17T12:45:00.001-08:00

This course is practical.

It's not theories or a psychology course.

It won't teach you psychoanalysis or philosophy.

It is intended for the men and women who want a great relationship NOW.

It's for those who want to have a happy marriage first and then if they wish to do so, to figure out why this all works later.

It's for those who have found neither the time, the means, the desire nor the opportunity to engage in couples counseling, weekend workshops or other forms of counseling.

It’s also for those who have tried counseling but didn’t get the results they hoped for out of the experience.

It's for those who may be considering counseling but want to get the most out of it.

And - for those who wish to know if their counselor will do them some good... all they need do is experience this program and then ask if their counselor agrees with its premises.

http://www.EasyMarriageCounseling.com

Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Eight Signs of a Great Relationship

2011-10-08T14:51:00.001-07:00

People are always warning about the danger signs in relationships (I've done it plenty), but how do you know if you are doing well?

How do you know if you are on the right track?

It's not just "lack of problems," because if that's all that having a good relationship is for you, then your view of relationships is just too shallow and poor. At least in my opinion.

Let's talk about how to know if you are in a great relationship or headed in the right direction. It's often been said that you can't hit a target if you can't see it.

So let's make a target!

Here are eight signs or indicators that you are having a great relationship. I made these simple and clear. There are clearly many other ways to know about the quality of your relationship, or so it seems.

I say "or so it seems," because often what is taken to show great relationship quality turns out to be faulty and false, such as how often you make love or whether you talk together a lot. These I call the "quantity error," because you can be having a lot of fantastic sex and still feel very empty inside.

You can be talking with one another every day all day, but if it isn't really satisfying, it's not an indicator of a great relationship.

What I tried to do is to show you signs of a deep enduring relationship, things which show you are likely to make love last forever.

So here goes. These are not in any particular order. And for the purposes of simplicity I just alternated "he" and "she" in the eight signs, so I said "you can't wait to tell him." But it could be "her" just the same.

Please go ahead and put in the right pronoun in your mind. Change it to your circumstances

1. When away from your sweetie, you can't wait to tell him about something you heard that is funny or interesting. You are eager for the moment you get back together

This shows your eagerness to connect. It's what we call "thoughtfulness" or "mindfulness." You have your sweetie on your mind a lot and things that you feel, think or hear you want to share. This shows an important connection.

2. When she enters the room, your heart and stomach kind of "skip a beat" and you feel a jump of energy.

This shows it's not just a mental connection, but also a deep physical one. Your body feels the excitement and energy and anticipation for connection. This is a great sign of a passionate connection. The ancient Greeks had a god named "Eros" who was known when he was around to cause a lot of enthusiasm, joy and energy (sex too!).

3. You are consistently loyal to your sweetie and don't dish him or say bad things behind his back with your friends or in public: you stand up for him.

Make a gut check to see how loyal you truly are to your sweetie. Are you tempted to join in on the "rag sessions" with other women or men about your beloved? Or are you truly loyal? This is one of the most important keys to true long term happiness in relationships... true loyalty. You don't betray your beloved at all, even in what seem like minor ways!

4. When you are with her, you feel you can really be who you are and don't have to "fake" your real thoughts, feelings or true self.

Really being able to be yourself, your true self, is incredibly important in great relationships. It contributes to a deep sense of "being at home" with another person. On the other hand, if you are always trying to please the other person and just conform and compromise, it eats at you after a while, right? You might stay together, but would you call it a great relationship if you can't truly be yourself?

5. Your "inner image" of him you carry around is of someone you respect; he has a "good reputation" with you as someone you think highly of.

I've talked about this "good reputation" or "bad reputation" you carry about your wife, husband or sweetheart as being either a relationship killer or joy bringer. Inside of you, do you really see the other person as someone you don't just love and have feelings for but someone you really respect as a person?

6. You give each other a "break" - the benefit of the doubt - when you disagree, and make a genuine and sincere effort to get closer to one another despite (and maybe even because of) your differences.

People in great relationships start by givine one another "a break" when discussing heated topics. They aren't always trying to pounce on one another or undercut one another. It's critical for a great relationship that you give the other person respect and equality!

7. You are friends as well as lovers.

I think most people know this - how important it is to be friends as well as lovers - but how many people really put in the effort to make sure it stays that way? Many people treat their husbands, wives or sweethearts worse by far than their friends. Think of it this way, if this was a friend, would you still talk the same way you do now to them?

8. You look toward the future with one another and see it as always growing and changing in positive ways in your relationship.

Great relationships are not just about today... they are about forming a deep, permanent bond with one another. Part of great relationships is great imagination, being able to envision a great future together.

As you look at these 8 signs of a great relationship, how many do you see in your relationship right now? If you have 6 or less, it's time to dig in and try harder - but only if you want to truly have intimacy and a great relationship!

Dr. Max is known as the world's greatest expert in helping you have a great relationship. Relationship advice , marriage counseling , he offers it all!

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Divorce busting

2011-09-25T11:07:00.001-07:00

“I guess it’s time we parted our ways”, “We were never made for each other”, “I can’t imagine living with you anymore”… Ever heard or said such things to your life partner? If you’ve ever said it, think again. These harsh words can do more harm to your already not-so-good relationship. You can talk to your life partner/husband/wife about it, and you should.

Bring back in your mind those sweet old memories – those moments that felt so heavenly, and it was all true. Thinking about a divorce means you’re going the wrong way. You’ll become all alone again, and those good old times that you spent together will haunt you, and you may feel like going back into the relationship… But, it could even be late.

Why let such things happen in your life?

Read the whole article here

- Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Acupuncture for erectile dysfunction

2011-09-24T14:48:00.001-07:00

Acupuncture has been used since thousands of years to cure a lot of diseases in the body. Acupuncture is more famous for elevating pain from the joints in the body. In acupuncture, needles are inserted at important points in the body. The needles are kept inserted in the body points for

Read the rest of the article here

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

How to recover from Infidelity

2011-09-23T13:09:00.001-07:00

There are 2 things to do.

1. Visit my site http://www.ThriveAfterTheAffair.com for some great information.

2. Go to this blog for further conversations: http://www.marriagecounselingcafe.com/2011/09/20/your-questions-about-recovery-from-infidelity-2/

Best Wishes,

Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

How Do We Stop Arguing?

2011-09-20T21:43:00.001-07:00

Answers at http://www.couplescoach.com

My spouse and I love each other but sometimes I can’t even stand him. He argues with me and sometimes he doesn’t have common sense. I will admit that I am at fault too but I try not to make mistakes. I resent him and I ignore him for many hours and he comes back to me and hugs me and everything and says he loves me but it’s not good enough. Our issues that we need to work on together as a couple remain unresolved. I even tell him that I resent him sometimes but he doesn’t do anything about it. How do we stop arguing at each other? What kind of techniques do I do?
I know you will say go to marriage counseling but we can’t afford it, just want to hear your opinions. Constructive advice only please! Thanks!
we argue about many things, too many to list on here. It is too exhausting and I’m tired.
Most of the time we argue over his actions, instead of him. For example, he doesn’t listen to me when I’m talking to him, that’s just one of the many reasons.
When we are arguing in front of our child, I stop and say “We’ll talk about this later.” and he said “Well I don’t want to talk to you right now”. I know it’s unhealthy fighting in front of kids, that’s why I wait till our kid is in another room, so I could go talk to my spouse and spouse will say some smart alleck comment saying “Well I don’t want to resolve anything with you.” This makes me mad!
Thank you for all of your opinions. I will take that into consideration, but I need more opinions!

- Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time

2011-09-17T16:50:00.001-07:00

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time

Taylor Fleming

Yeah, :-) Well what this means - even though the metaphor is not quite right I agree - is that it's a challenge to be yourself and be partners. What we tend to do is either tend to total separateness or total fusion (the culture's ideal). True intimacy though is being able to balance between connection and separateness, and have both. It can sometimes be a clumsy dance, but when you get it right, it's totally amazing, and you'll have a complete sense of being "home" with your partner - Dr. Max

http://www.CouplesCoach.com

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

What counts in making a happy marriage is...

2011-09-15T19:10:00.001-07:00

What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility. - Leo Tolstoy

The core of true intimacy is being able to tolerate the anxiety of being yourself in the presence of another person... without backing off, without pretending, without trying to imitate or be the person your partner WANTS you to be. When you break past that barrier, a brand new kind of marriage is possible for you. - Dr. Max

Find out how, click here

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others.

2011-09-15T19:01:00.001-07:00

Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others.
Benjamin Franklin

Whether we actually change or not is not up to us to say - at least where relationships are involved. It's up to the person with whom we are connecting to say. The meaning and value of the message is in how it is received. I think what Mr. Franklin is saying is to give up on changing others and let them be themselves. - Dr. Max

Interestingly it is possible to change self and change others at the same time. Want to know how? click here

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Anger repressed can poison a relationship as surely as the cruelest words

2011-09-15T14:24:00.001-07:00

Anger repressed can poison a relationship as surely as the cruelest words
Dr Joyce Brothers

It's a good quote, but it can be misunderstood easily. Anger expressed - when it is defensive or aimed at the other person and not owned as part of one's own process - is even more dangerous and harmful. The key is to own the feelings and express them with care and thoughtfulness... A tall order, but it's how intimacy is done - Dr. Max

Learn how to express with care. Click here

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Are there any places online that you can do online marriage counseling for a reasonable/small price?

2011-09-15T13:44:00.001-07:00

First an answer from Yahoo, and then mine:

This is a valid question and one many family counselors are wrestling with. The quick answer is there is too much exposure to malpractice lawsuits. Also, there is too much opportunity for one party to lock onto some particular statement made by the counselor. In face-to-face conversation, the counselor can make a statement and if one party jumps on it and says “See, I’m right and you’re wrong!” the counselor can immediately respond and change the emphasis. If it is in writing, then after the session is over, one party can point to a particular statement and give their own interpretation…which may or may not be the interpretation intended by the counselor. So we’re dealing with a delicate area here. Having said all that, there are some counselors who will do on-line therapy. Another thing to recognize is that coming to this forum you are inviting amateur counseling…of, I might add, varying degrees of comfort and accuracy. Sorry I couldn’t give you something more specific.

Dr. Max adds: I have some very low cost and super-effective programs which will help you. Here is the link and my email is also on there if you wish to ask me more about any of the programs Low Cost Marriage Counseling Click Here

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

How to keep love strong when life gets a little crazy

2011-08-30T15:04:00.001-07:00

Wedding vows ask you if you will hang in there when it gets tough.

Everyone says yes.

Of course no one on their wedding day imagines what's coming.

Half the ones at the altar this very day will be divorced in 10 years.

And 80% of the other half will be moderately to supremely unhappy.

And half of the rest of them are either oblivious, addicted or don't care.

And only about 1/10th of the remaining number are happy.

Totally, totally unnecessary when all everyone needs is the Science of Happy Marriage.

Divorce is bad but marital unhappiness is no picnic either.

And don't think your kids think you're happy when you're not.

"We can't divorce, we can't do that to the kids."

But is it OK to inflict a lifetime of your marital unhappiness on them?

What kind of model is that?

"But kids, we stayed together for your sake."

"Thanks a lot mom, that really gave me a wonderful vision of marriage and adulthood."

Now all that is kind of harsh, I know, but here's the solution.

Give yourself a REAL chance to stay together and be happy.

It isn't hard, but you have to change your direction.

Stop.

Take a turn.

Go a new way.

Go the way thousands of others are going... toward happy marriage.

There is a science of happy marriage and it is an exact science.

Here are the details

http://www.EasyMarriageCounseling.com/3index.html

To your great relationship future,

Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Have to stand on your head to be appreciated?

2011-08-29T15:15:00.001-07:00

Sometimes it seems like your partner hardly notices you.

After all you've done for him.

After the ways you've been there for him, done things for him.

The ways you've gone out of your way to be available.

The way you always think of the little things that make life run smoothly.

The tasks and chores you do that no one notices.

The birthdays and anniversaries and other holidays only you seem to remember.

The connections with relatives you maintain.

The family you hold together with love and caring.

Couldn't he just occasionally show you some true appreciation?

You don't ask much, just a little consideration now and then.

When he does show warmth, it always turns to sex.

Couldn't he just have a nice warm conversation, you hold each other?

Is he deaf, dumb and blind when it comes to relationship?

If these are the ways you feel, you are not alone.

However, all of the ways you've ever thought of to "make things different" will fail.

It's not your fault.

But you are on the wrong path.

And no one else will set you on the right one.

All of the things MOST people - incuding counselors, pastors and advice givers - have ever thought of will fail.

It's not their fault either.

They haven't heard this presentation yet.

http://www.EasyMarriageCounseling.com/3index.html

Once they do they'll know it's time for a course correction.

You'll get it.

Things can be brand new in your marriage.

Not doing the things you've always done and been taught to do, but doing things a new way.

The Science of Happy Marriage Way.

To your great relationship future,

Dr. Max

P.S. No one else is talking about this yet. Why not? They don't know about it.

Soon everyone will, but you heard it here first.

http://www.EasyMarriageCounseling.com/3index.html

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

I love you but I'm not IN love with you

2011-07-27T06:55:00.001-07:00

How many times have those words been uttered?

I love you but I'm not "in love" with you.

And yet as the writer in the story discovers, when asked what that means, no one seems to know.

The premise of this study is the same problematic issue as in all the studies of marriage longevity I've ever read.

They look at the data.

But the data is only a self-confirming message of what everyone's already hearing.

In other words, people get divorced more or less because they think they "ought to."

Before you go thinking that's way too weird, read this excerpt from an article in reporternews.

Divorce rates are dipping slightly, but experts say that may not mean marriages are much more likely to succeed than they have in the past.
According to the most recent U.S. census, about 75 percent of the couples married since 1990 reported reaching their 10th anniversary, up about 3 percent above their counterparts who married in the decade before.
However, the same data revealed that about half of first marriages are destined to end in divorce.
Although that may appear to be contradictory, researchers cited a few reasons for the findings. One is the number of couples cohabiting rather than marrying. Another is the rising age at which most couples marry.
In 1950, the average age of a man marrying for the first time was 23, with 20 the average age for women. In 2010, it was 28 for men and 26 for women. The older average age of newlyweds would suggest more affluence and better education.

"Research has shown that the more educated you are, the less likely you are to get divorced," said Stephen Willis, a marriage counselor with Turning Point, a counseling service in Abilene.
Likewise, the older someone is when they get married, the more likely he or she is to stay married, up to a point.
"I hate to use the word "doomed," but teenage marriages have a very low success rate," Willis said. "From 21 to 30, the chances of a marriage being successful increase with each year. After 31, it tends to level out."

According to the census data, the so-called seven-year itch still persists. However, it is just the statistical average of when most marriages fail. Although there are notable examples of long-term marriages ending in divorce, the census data show that most people who are unhappy in a marriage find out quickly.

Willis said the phenomenon is not so much psychological as it is physiological.
"In the first two years of a relationship, the body produces chemicals that go away after time," he said. "It's natural. I'll often have people come in and say, 'I love my wife, but I'm not in love with her anymore.' I'll ask them what that means, and they'll say 'I don't know.'"

Now, I ask you, why doesn't the person know what they mean by that?

Here's the answer... they don't know how to see, think or feel about love or about their partner.

If you are EVER going to be happily married and stay that way, you need to know how to think, feel and see.
Let me show you how to totally transform your experience of your marriage and your partner in just five minutes in the morning and 5 minutes in the evening.

http://www.MagicalMarriageCure.com
- Dr. Max

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Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Terrifying Intimacy

2011-07-26T08:54:00.001-07:00

Eventually I saw that the path of the heart requires a full gesture, a degree of abandon that can be terrifying. Only then is it possible to achieve a sparkling metamorphosis.
-Carlos Castaneda
Intimacy is not for the weak.

When you prepared to meet another person head on in the full presence of their personality - with true honesty on your part - you find that your knees will buckle, or you'll try to hide in your "personality" or "front."

Try it with your true self and see what rewards will come

- Dr. Max

http://www.CouplesCoach.com

========

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

What to expect from couples counseling (may shock)

2011-07-20T14:51:00.001-07:00

I've written extensively trying to clear up the B.S. people think about couples counseling in this report:
http://www.CouplesCounselingReport.com

- Dr. Max
Not for the squeamish.

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Relationships are not just giving, and they are not just taking

2011-07-19T14:45:00.001-07:00

Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something. They’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take. ~ Anthony Robbins
Tony Robbins is partly right, but as often happens with him, it's a nice saying and sounds really noble and wonderful, but it's only partially true, and only for immature relationships.

In really mature marriages, each person understands that they are there in a very deep way to not only give but to take as well.

When this is done in a truly mature way, it's quite different from the egotism of an immature relationship

- Dr. Max

http://www.CouplesCoach.com/

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Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Being in love and how it changes you

2011-07-19T07:02:00.001-07:00

At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet.
Plato
Being in love opens up part of you that nothing else does.

Suddenly you see and hear things in a new way.

Everything seems more alive, and you wonder why you didn't experience these things before.

You look at others and wonder why they seem so "dead" like they are walking around like zombies.

- Dr. Max

Fall in love all over again

http://www.MagicalMarriageCure.com

==============

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

How to learn and succeed

2011-07-18T19:31:00.001-07:00

By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.
Confucius
Actually the best of the 3 is imitation. If you find someone whom you respect, either in their relationships, their friendship, their talents and skills, or their business... if you can model them, you can learn more and be more successful than with the other two. This is the model we teach.

- Dr. Max

http://www.CouplesCoach.com

===========

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Singer Monica... Would you marry YOUR partner all over again and profess your love?

2011-07-15T13:16:00.001-07:00

Oftentimes when we read an article about celebrities or others, we stand off to the side.
We are just watching the entertainment roll by.
I have a different perspective for you to start trying on.

Say to yourself for example as in this story... "If this was me, would I have this kind of courage" ?
Would you so publicly profess your love for your partner?

It's good to consider:
Singer Monica and her husband, L.A. Lakers shooting guard Shannon Brown, were married for the second time on Saturday, PEOPLE confirms, and this time around their friends and families were there to help celebrate.

The couple, who have been together since 2010, were secretly married in November, but they decided to profess their love for each other in front of hundreds of guests at L.A.'s 19th century cathedral, Vibiana.

A lavish, purple-and-blue-themed reception followed the ceremony, where Kobe Bryant, Lala Vazquez and Carmelo Anthony were just some of the notable guests.

The happy couple first met last year on the set of the singer's music video for 'Love All Over Me,' and were engaged in October 2010 after just a few months of dating.

Brown revealed the couple's quiet wedding during a post-game interview in January.
"It's true," he said. "I really don't know what else to say about it. It's true. That's my wife. I'm her husband. We gonna continue to make positive things happen." Read article

Are you ready to say in YOUR life, "We gonna continue to make positive things happen?"
Ready? Here's how:
http://www.MagicalMarriageCure.com

Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

It's the differences in relationships that...

2011-07-14T20:59:00.001-07:00

‎" It is the things in common that make relationships enjoyable, bit it is the little differences that make them interesting."
Ruthman
I would add to that the following. It's the little differences that give you a chance to express the fullness of your individual character.

An important part of relationship intimacy is that it is the meeting of two INDIVIDUALS who are also connected as a COUPLE.

It is this tension of opposites that makes things rich and deep.

- Dr. Max

http://www.CouplesCoach.com

=========

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Angelina Jolie on Brad Pitt

2011-07-14T07:28:00.001-07:00

It's so common to be talking about all the failed relationships in Hollywood that it's a real treat to find people who are happy.
And this one I think surprised everyone.
Angelina Jolie openly speaks of her love and admiration of Brad Pitt.
Angelina Jolie gushes about partner Brad Pitt in a recent interview with U.K.’s The Telegraph.

Here’s what the 35-year-old Kung Fu Panda 2 star had to share:
On raising their six kids: “We are obviously extremely committed to the children and as parents together ... When Brad and I decided to have a large family we decided we’d only do it if we could be really hands-on and take the kids with us, seeing them every day. I am always there on weekend, I only ever work a five-day week, and I am often there for breakfast or dinner. When I’m working they come up at lunch.”

On Brad as a partner: “I am very lucky with Brad. He is a real gentleman, but he is also a real man’s man. He’s got the wonderful balance of being an extraordinary, great, loving father, a very, very intelligent man and physically he’s a real man in all things that it means.” Read the full article

Now how do you feel about YOUR partner?
Would you say these kinds of wonderful things about him or her to others?
Want to learn how?

Here's how
http://www.MagicalMarriageCure.com
Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Resentment and forgiveness (perhaps unpopular view)

2011-07-13T16:16:00.001-07:00

“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.”
Catherine Ponder
Actually I disagree with this to a certain extent. I don't believe that human beings are responsible for forgiveness, it's too big of a job for humans.

I consider that God's job. As human beings our job is to give ourselves permission to LET GO of the control or binds that keep us connected to resentment.

That we CAN do and need to do when we are bound by resentment.

- Dr. Max
http://www.CouplesCoach.com

especially relevant to this quote:

http://www.ThriveAfterTheAffair.com

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Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

My girlfriend is seeing another man

2011-07-13T06:37:00.001-07:00

"My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes." Emo Phillips

I know Emo is making a joke here (he's a very funny but also very strange fellow if you've ever seen him perform).

But the truth is that very few people actually SEE the real person in front of them, the honest to goodness real person.

We tend to see a "hallucination" or a "made up" version of the person. It is in fact extremely difficult to truly see the other person.

Here's how to see the "real" person:

http://www.MagicalMarriageCure.com

- Dr. Max

=============

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Great companionship in marriage (a secret)

2011-07-12T17:56:00.001-07:00

‎"There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage."
Martin Luther
What I love about this quote is that Martin Luther has caught the pleasant and wonderful comfort and intimacy of marriage. Great marriage is in part, just having great company. No one else can be as good a companion to you as a great partner.

- Dr. Max

http://www.CouplesCoach.com

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Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Is your wife your queen?

2011-07-12T15:33:00.001-07:00

“How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.” Oscar Wilde

Well! This is a bit of a double - edged sword, isn't it? On the one hand Wilde is implying that a man ought to be treating a woman as if she were MORE than a perfectly normal human being... On the other hand, she ought to be EXPECTING to be treated as more than merely a normal human being.

Fact is... as old-fashioned as it might seem, every man ought to treat his wife as if where were the queen of his world. What is your opinion about this? Do you agree?
- Dr. Max

http://www.MagicalMarriageCure.com
==========

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Loving Requires Courage - True Marriage Requires Courage

2011-07-11T17:27:00.001-07:00

It's great to receive love. Wonderful to receive love. But the real courage comes in giving love. Do you have the courage to risk it all in order to show someone your true self, to expose yourself emotionally?

- Dr. Max
http://www.CouplesCoach.com

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

if you're not in love you're wasting your life (video)

2011-07-11T17:13:00.001-07:00

here are many wonderful experiences you can have in life.
And they are made more wonderful if you can share them deeply, intimately with another person.
Marriage is the greatest chance you have to be known and understood by another person in this lifetime - Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

being loved gives you strength, loving gives you...

2011-07-11T16:20:00.001-07:00

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength,
While loving someone deeply gives you courage." - Lao Tzu
What is Lao Tzu saying here? I think he's saying that receiving is a good thing and it strengthens your resolve and confidence... but LOVING deeply is the real courage. Because you have to be brave and courageous to give of yourself.

- Dr. Max

http://www.CouplesCoach.com

===========

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

If you're not in love, you're wasting your life

2011-07-11T16:18:00.001-07:00

‎"I am in love - and, my God, it is the greatest thing that can happen to a man. I tell you, find a woman you can fall in love with. Do it. Let yourself fall in love. If you have not done so already, you are wasting your life." - D. H. Lawrence

It's bold to say that if you haven't fallen in love, you are wasting your life, but it's my bias as well. Actually I would go farther, and do so frequently. If you are not happily married, you are missing the most amazing and fulfilling experience a human being can have. It's the one chance you have to be truly, fully known by another human being in this lifetime.

- Dr. Max

http://www.CouplesCoach.com

==========

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

A letter from their heart, urgent about their marriage

2011-07-11T13:42:00.001-07:00

I recently received an email from a couple I saw for a few sessions many years ago.
Because of a job transfer, they needed to move before we really even got started on counseling.
But I felt a bond with them and they with me, so every once in a while they write me.
Today I got a heart-wrenching note from them.
They've been in counseling, gone to their pastor and read a lot of books.

They've tried and tried in their marriage.
They love each other very deeply but just don't seem to be able to make a go of it.
I wrote back, friends, stop looking for love in the wrong places.

It's not in the "usual" counseling methods where you'll find how to have a happy marriage.
None of the counselors, pastors or other advice givers will help you with the answers.

They are all starting from the wrong place.
It's NOT new behaviors, communication skills, self-analysis, being kinder or any of that.
None of the "usual" counseling methods will help most people

Nothing is going to change with any of these methods because they start from the wrong place.
There's something else stopping you.
It's the fact that you do not have nor how to use a certain way.

Something inside of you is against the marriage.
That something needs to be turned around and it needs to be turned around NOW.
Either you make this change or your marriage WILL be destroyed.

You have to have this, it is the only answer for you.
You don't stop a forest fire by being a better person.
You don't stop it by throwing one bucked of water on it.

You stop it by massive action.
This is the massive and powerful action you have to take right now.
http://www.MagicalMarriageCure.com

- Dr. Max
========

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Mike Tyson and Lakiha Spicer Renew Wedding Vows (Video)... I think it's admirable

2011-07-10T18:46:00.001-07:00

http://www.CouplesCoach.com "Iron" Mike Tyson won the unified heavyweight boxing championship of the world at age 20.
Yes, he's been all over the map.

But look at where he grew up and where he's been since then.
An amazing life, and a big challenge. Now he's renewing his wedding vows.

It's easy to criticize celebrities for the foibles that they have.
But they face a ton of scrutiny.
And here's the guy professing his love for his wife in a wonderful way.

How many guys do you know who do that?
I personally think it's admirable.
- Dr. Max
http://www.couplescoach.com

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Mike Tyson and Wife Lakiha Spicer Renew Wedding Vows

2011-07-10T18:10:00.001-07:00

Yes, he appears (or appeared) to be a total lunatic.
Mike Tyson - "Iron Mike" - has been a confused individual for a lot of years.
But you have to remember he first won the most coveted honor in boxing - world heavyweight championship - as the youngest man to ever do so... age

Now he seems to really be in love and truly in a marriage that has stabilized him.
He's older, wiser and has face critics endlessly for many years.
It's a hard job being a celebrity for so long.
He was recently inducted into the Boxing Hall of Fame.
Was he a great champion? Many doubt it. But no one doubts that he's been one of our most FAMOUS boxers and one of our most famous individuals

Boxer Mike Tyson and his wife Lakiha Spicer have renewed their wedding vows in a surprise ceremony.

TMZ is reporting that Tyson and Spicer invited hundreds of their friends to celebrate a joint birthday party the couple were throwing for each other at the M Resort in Las Vegas last week - Saturday June 25, but in reality the birthday party was a cover for a secret vow renewal.

Tyson even tweeted about the fake event, "My wife & I are getting ready to host friends & family tonight. Many we haven't seen in years. It's going to be a great night."

After the guests arrived at the party, the couple disappeared for a while only to later re-emerge dressed in wedding outfits.

And then to the amazement of the surprised crowd, the couple then proceeded to renew their wedding vows in a traditional Muslim ceremony. Read the whole article

Sometimes people are "reborn" in life. Sometimes relationships are "reborn" in life.
The message of all the world's great spiritual traditions is "REDEMPTION."

It can happen for you too, in your personal life and in your marriage.

- Dr. Max
http://www.CouplesCoach.com

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds' Divorce Finalized

2011-07-10T15:13:00.001-07:00

I think marriages among celebrities must be among the hardest to manage of all.
Not only do you have all the regular pressures of relationships, but you have all the amazing pressures of being in the public eye.

How would any of us respond if we had this much scrutiny, not to mention if we were this beautiful or handsome?

Putting an official end to their under-the-radar romance, Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds's divorce became final on Friday, after an out-of-the-blue split late last year.
The final divorce documents were filed Friday in Los Angeles Superior Court, according to E!.
The pair discreetly dated before exchanging vows in rural wedding outside Vancouver in 2008. They have no children.

"Irreconcilable differences" were cited in court papers, and both have said very little to the press to shed additional light on their relationship or breakup.

While Johansson, 26, rebounded this year with a short-lived fling with Sean Penn, Reynolds insisted in a recent interview, "The media was not invited to my marriage, and they're definitely not invited into the divorce." And the 'Green Lantern' star, 34, did concede, "I don't think I want to get married again."

"Anyone who gets divorced goes through a lot of pain, but you come out of it," Reynolds added. "I'm not out of it yet. At all. But I sense that as I do come through it, there's optimism. How can there not be?" Read the full article

Love to hear your opinion on this one. Please let us know your opinion here: Facebook.com/relationshipquotes, thank you.
- Dr. Max
http://www.CouplesCoach.com

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

I made this youtube video for you (WARNING)

2011-07-10T13:14:00.001-07:00

If you or anyone you know is considering marriage coumseling. Pastoral counseling, or divorce, watch this video on youtube first

Then please hit send me your comments on facebook.com/relationshipquotes
I'd love to know your opinion.

- Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Marriage: What you believe is what is true

2011-07-10T09:26:00.001-07:00

All of our actions - everything we do - is generated from what we believe inside. Your heart follows your brain. They say "seeing is believing" but the opposite is true also: "Believing is seeing." It's as if your eyes will only see what you train them to see. If you are looking for evidence of poverty and suffering in the world, that's what you'll see. If you are looking for abundance and love, that's what you'll see. Train your belief system first. - Dr. Max

http://www.CouplesCoach.com

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Your identity in marriage (video)

2011-07-10T08:52:00.001-07:00

Most people are very confused about what intimacy is. You are not a blob of mashed potatoes but two unique beings. Respect that individuality. Don't expect constant and unending undivided attention on you. Your partner has his or her own life, soul, identity to become and be.
Here's the video:

- Dr. Max
http://www.CouplesCoach.com

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Don't SMOTHER each other!

2011-07-10T08:31:00.001-07:00

Don't smother each other. No one can grow in the shade.
- Leo Buscaglia
Many people confuse intimacy with perpetual togetherness or a constant and unending sense of "we two are one." That is NOT intimacy. Intimacy is the free movement of togetherness and distance in loving connection... it respects your individual differences AND the sacred connection and togetherness you have together. You are not a blob of mashed potatoes but two unique and wonderful human beings. - Dr. Max

http://www.CouplesCoach.com

=========

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Follow your heart (but...)

2011-07-10T07:21:00.001-07:00

“Follow your heart, but don’t forget to take your brain with you.” Anonymous
It's actually THINKING that drives FEELING and ACTION. It is your belief system that guides how you feel about things and people, how you view them, your response to them, and ultimately your actions. Belief drives everything, so be careful what you decide to believe.

- Dr. Max

http://www.CouplesCoach.com

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Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Push a little on your partner - be generous!

2011-07-09T20:50:00.001-07:00

‎"Trouble is part of your life, and if you don't share it, you don't give the person who loves you enough chance to love you enough."
Dinah Shore
I often say that a person is being "stingy" if they don't push a little and confront a little with their partner. If you don't push or confront a little you give the person very little chance to show you the depth of their character. Push a little, but don't shove the person over!

-Dr. Max

http://www.CouplesCoach.com

I'm going to blow you away with some videos in the coming week. I'll shake the foundation of this corrupt marriage counseling industry

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Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Minka Kelly supports her boyfriend Derek Jeter

2011-07-09T15:08:00.001-07:00

Jeter hit his 3,000th hit, an awesome home run.
His girlfriend Minka Kelley was there to cheer him on.
Now for WHOM did he hit that 3,000th?
Maybe just for her :-)

Support... a wonderful thing.
- Dr. Max
http://www.CouplesCoach.com
===========

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

It isn't what you have that makes you happy

2011-07-09T14:37:00.001-07:00

“It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about.”
Dale Carnegie
Eleanor Roosevelt said that mediocre minds talk about people and superior minds talk about ideas. What do you think about that? Do you agree with her?

- Dr. Max

http://www.couplescoach.com

================

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

The space between you

2011-07-09T14:03:00.001-07:00

But let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Khalil Gibran
It's a wonderful feat when a couple can manage both togetherness and distance well. Most couples can manage one side or the other of this equation well, but few seem to manage both. What have you noticed in your observations?

- Dr. Max

http://www.CouplesCoach.com

====

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

problems in relationships occur because...

2011-07-09T13:59:00.001-07:00

" Problems in relationship occur because each person is concentrating on what is missing in the other person. "
Wayne Dyer

This is a perfect statement of the basic belief all of my relationship products are developed on. The only route to change in relationship is confronting self FIRST, otherwise you're trying to do the impossible, which is to change someone else Ever tried to force water to run uphill?

- Dr. Max

http://www.CouplesCoach.com

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

married people are not happier than single people

2011-07-08T18:52:00.001-07:00

married people are not happier than single people | marriage counseling news

The so called “research” about marriage and happiness is based on a lot of things that have little to do with happiness.

Married people tend to have more money and more health than single people. Hmmm.

Read the whole article here

-Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Relationships and REVENGE

2011-07-08T15:51:00.001-07:00

OK here's a different one.
See what you think of this one and please comment on it.

"Relationships give us a reason to live. Revenge."
Ronny Shakes
Comments?

Come to the Facebook page to comment

http://www.Facebook.com/relationshipquotes

- Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Are men happier in marriage than women?

2011-07-07T18:16:00.001-07:00

Here are some shocking findings, some of which I think will totally surprise you.
Click here to read

- Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

marriage counseling: the idiot experts are at it again

2011-07-06T17:21:00.001-07:00

Well once again the idiot experts got it wrong.

Cart before the horse. They need to wipe the pizza sauce off their lab coats and go outside into a few neighborhoods and see reality.
Read all about it here.

Geez, the university must be full of people who have never had a real conversation with anyone in their lives
- Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Come on over to my place

2011-07-06T15:29:00.001-07:00

I just started a new Facebook group called Relationship Quotes.
http://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipQuotes
Would love to have you join us.

I try to choose only quotes that will help with perspective on relationships and will be helpful.
As I said in the description of the group on FB:
This page is for a free and open sharing about relationships and news about relationships.
Please join us and share in a judgment free zone where everyones' opinion counts.
Can we count you in?
And the "Mission Statement" is:

To promote the fulfilling experience of amazing and wonderful relationships.

Won't you come on over and participate?

http://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipQuotes

See ya there,

Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

monogamy in marriage | Some moron is always questioning it | Mariage Counseling News

2011-07-05T14:15:00.001-07:00

monogamy in marriage | Some moron is always questioning it | Mariage Counseling News
Every so often someone - apparently trying to be cute - goes out and claims that something is dead which is very much alive.

A few years ago we had people saying that God is dead. The novel was dead. Religion was dead. The Internet was dead. Heck way back, the horseless carriage (the automobile) wasn't going to stick around long.

One of the stupidest of all these constantly recurring themes is the idea that heterosexual monogamy is dead or needs to be replaced.
It always turns out to be some liberal, some philosopher, some gay guy who has gotten reputation as a relationship advice guru or some other oddball who apparently doesn't have the sense God gave a squirrel to see that if monogamy were in question it would kind of show up by people being happy with infidelities.

At least there would be SOME people happy with that, wouldn't there? As it turns out, NO ONE is happy about infidelities.
Here's a great commentary by Rabbi - I recommend you read the whole article

This past Sunday the New York Times did a magazine cover story based on the ideas of gay sex-advice columnist Dan Savage, whom it referred to as America's leading sex advice guru (really?), about how infidelity just might save monogamy, the idea being that monogamy is tough and it's about time we acknowledged it. Savage argues that couples should be far more understanding of infidelities and even discuss them before they happen so as to receive each other's informed consent, should that prove appropriate to the relationship. Couples should trade in the straightjacket of strict monogamy, which essentially doesn't work, and instead seek to be 'monogomish,' that is, being essentially faithful but allowing for outside liaisons which just might prevent the dissolution of the primary relationship.

Yawn. What a bore. This is what passes for news in the world's leading publication?
The New York Times would devote an ocean of ink to an idea that has been unsuccessfully argued by scores of 'experts' who have caused couples untold suffering by arguing for open relationships that have later been destroyed by jealousy and woundedness?

Indeed, the argument for open relationships goes back to the beginning of time, its most famous modern advocate being the celebrated British philosopher Bertrand Russell who wrote long letters to his wife about his consensual infidelities. But his open-mindedness could not surmount his jealousy when his own wife starting taking lovers.

The only real problem with relationships and marriage and monogamy is that people don't know how to get what they truly want. That's why I created the Magical Marriage Cure. Click here to see the free presentation on the true way to save your relationship. It's the most exciting discovery I've ever made.

- Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

NOW will you listen to me? (Oprah on the way out)

2011-05-24T11:36:00.001-07:00

This will probably be my least popular post of all time.
But I suggest you read every word.
For the last 2 generations, Oprah Winfrey has been consistently ruining relationships.
She's been confusing men and women about each other.
She's dramatically increased the divide between men and women.
She's driven women to feel terrible about the men in their lives.

She has never been a supporter of marriage or the sacred bonds between men and women.
Now just why would that be?
Look at her own relationship history.

She clearly has nothing to teach about relationships or marriage.
Nor for that matter about dieting, self-maintenance, friendships, or any of the other things that really count.

You might say, well, she doesn't necessarily come up with these things on her own, she has guests.
Believe me, those guests are not chosen by accident.

They are chosen because they represent a certain philosophy of life.
That philosophy can be summed up like this:
"Be a victim. Make other people suffer. Profit from your position as a victim."

Now if you're ready to settle down in your marriage and make some real changes, not some "Oprah" changes, go here
http://clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=Js.L7&m=IsfP2Eth76iWqK&b=pJ7V6EH1Ad77o283mEzMqg

- Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Infidelity in marriage

2011-05-20T08:12:00.000-07:00

Here are three recent posts on my blog about infidelity in marriage.
Maybe these will help you.
How to talk to your children about infidelity:
http://www.marriagecounselingcafe.com/2011/05/18/infidelity-in-marriage-and-how-to-talk-with-your-children/

Infidelity in Marriage - Problems with Marriage
http://www.marriagecounselingcafe.com/2011/05/19/infidelity-in-marriage-problems-with-marriage/

When does Infidelity in Marriage Occur
http://www.marriagecounselingcafe.com/2011/05/20/when-does-infidelity-in-marriage-occur/

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Could Facebook Ruin Your Marriage?

2011-05-17T14:44:00.001-07:00

Read this article before you answer the question
http://www.marriagecounselingcafe.com/2011/05/15/seattle-man-facebook-cost-me-my-20-year-marriage/

- Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Affirming your marriage or negating your marriage? - marriage advice

2011-05-17T08:06:00.001-07:00

"It's the repetition of affirmations that leads to the belief. And once the belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen."

Claude M. Bristol (1891 - 1951) American author of "The Magic of Believing.

The opposite can happen too.
The repetition of negations or negative statements can create just as deep a belief and conviction.
Mentally keep track of the numbers of times per day you think neutral or negative things about your spouse.
"She doesn't really love me" "He's very inconsiderate"
versus
"He really does everything he can for me and the family, he's a champ" or "What a loving person she is"
Count them and you'll see how it turns out.
If you are unhappy there are a lot more of the negations than the affirmations.
If you are happy then there are a lot more of the affirmations than the negations.
It's a mathematical certainty.
Get it?
Think it isn't as simple as I make it out to be?
It is that simple, if you make a couple changes
Here's how to make a change and turn it around
http://clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=Js.L7&m=IsfP2Eth76iWqK&b=pJ7V6EH1Ad77o283mEzMqg

Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Tired or bored of being married?

2011-05-14T14:45:00.001-07:00

Very few people will admit it, even to themselves.
So just between you and me, are you?
Are you tired or bored of being married?
Are you just politely "putting up with it" because it's the right thing to do?
Maybe the most convenient thing to do.
So let me say right away... there's nothing wrong with that.
Is there?
It's really your call.
It depends on whether you believe for... or hope for... something much better.
Your marriage relationship CAN be a lot better, you know.
You might not believe it, but it's true.
Thousands now have great marriages who never thought they could.
How?
They changed the way they think.
They changed the way they felt.
They changed the way they acted.
So it's up to you.
Same old humdrum... or something new.
http://clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=Js.L7&m=IsfP2Eth76iWqK&b=pJ7V6EH1Ad77o283mEzMqg

- Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Weekend Sex Tip 5.13.11 (Top Secret - Men Only)

2011-05-13T14:45:00.001-07:00

OK guys you're going to doubt me on this one, but "hear me now, believe me later."
I'm going to give you the ultimate sex secret of all time.
It doesn't come from a psychologist.

It doesn't come from Dr. Phil or Oprah.
It doesn't come from Dr. Ruth.
It doesn't even come from some porn star.
No.

It comes from Billy Joel
Listen. If you really want to "get her hot" here's what you do.
Get a copy of Billy Joel's song "Tell Her About It."

Then do everything he tells you to do in the song.
I'm serious.
Tell her about it
Tell her everything you feel
Give her every reason to accept
That you're for real
The guy is a lady monster even though he looks like a toad (sorry Billy).

Need proof? He was married to Christie Brinkley.
Got divorced? Well I assume he stopped listening to his own advice.
This is the hottest, easiest and simplest tip I have for you guys.

Your wives will totally agree with me on this one.
And here's the rest of the story.
http://clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=Js.L7&m=Jlfzu5BRt6iWqK&b=9CXVS6ubpK4QX6rEhjXTVw

Enjoy your weekend,
Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

What have you done for me lately? (Marriage Advice)

2011-05-12T12:59:00.000-07:00

Janet Jackson sings:
I never ask for more than I deserve
You know it's the truth
You seem to think you're God's gift to this earth
I'm tellin' you... no way.
You ought to be thankful for the little things
But little things are all you seem to give
You're always puttin' off what we could do today
Soap opera says you've got one life to live
Who's right who's wrong?
ohhhh, what have you done for me lately?
Good question...
But it needs to be turned around!
What you should be asking is...

What have I done for YOU lately?
Here's something you can do that will really make a difference
http://clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=Js.L7&m=JPpU.Jy8d6iWqK&b=ByoC0Rr9pX84S_29vK6RAg

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Marriage problems related to infants’ sleep difficulties

2011-05-11T08:46:00.001-07:00

Couples having marital difficulties may have infants who are losing sleep, according to a new study - and that may have a continuing impact on the children.

Specifically, researchers found that marital instability when the child was ninth months old was related to child sleep problems at 18 months, including difficulties falling asleep and staying asleep, according to Anne Mannering, an Oregon State University faculty member in the Department of Human Development and Family Sciences. read

You have to be able to deal with problems as they come up. The only way to do that is to have good communication.
Here's where you develop good communication skills
http://clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=Js.L7&m=IiVIwYPZN6iWqK&b=ieSh2soHF0BPp7A63.1C5w

-- Dr. Max
Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Aimless marriage vs. goals marriage

2011-05-11T07:03:00.001-07:00

.“The soul that has no established aim loses itself.”
Michel Eyquem De Montaigne (1533-1592, French philosopher, essayist)

In marriage, just like in any other human endeavor, it's important to have goals.
Most people drift aimlessly through life and aimlessly through their marriage.
What are your goals in your marriage?
I don't mean your wishes as in "I wish my husband would take me dancing"
I mean your goals.

Specifics that you are going to work toward, to achieve, to have a happy marriage.
If you have no idea what I'm talking about, watch this free presentation:
http://www.EasyMarriageCounseling.com/3index.html

Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Is this the answer to extramarital affairs?

2011-05-10T14:13:00.001-07:00

Two Indonesian couples caned for extramarital affairs in Muslim ...

ACEH, INDONESIA (BNO NEWS) -- Two Indonesian couples on Friday were publicly caned for having had extra marital affairs in a conservative Muslim province in Aceh, the Jakarta Globe reported. Two men and two women were accused of sex ...

Publish Date: 04/08/2011 14:48

http://wireupdate.com/wires/16526/two-indonesian-couples-caned-for-extramarital-affairs-in-muslim-province/

--

There's a better solution
http://www.couplescoach.com
Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Don't argue

2011-05-10T07:03:00.001-07:00

One of the biggest mistakes people make in their marriages is arguing.
It never turns out well.
Think back on every argument you ever had and then think about the result.

Was it ever positive?
Did you ever feel good afterwards (really... not just in the vengeful way).
If you want to try a new way, the answers are here:

http://www.CouplesCoach.com
- Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

7 Ways To Fuel Your Hatred for Your Husband (Cheat Sheet)

2011-05-02T10:43:00.001-07:00

These are the top seven ways to fuel your hatred for men, and for your husband in particular. If you're looking for a really good, quick and effective method to achieve this goal, you've come to the right place.

All of these methods will help to fuel your hatred or at least your ability to dismiss men. Use them all at one time if you want to be especially effective.
1. Talk to your man-hating friends about your husband. This is the most effective and fastest way to fuel your hatred for your husband - and for all men while you're at it. The great thing about this one is that you get lots of quick and very specific information about how useless, mean and ridiculous men really are. Your man-hating friends will give you lots of examples that you can immediately apply to men you know, and specifically to your husband.

2. Watch network television and see how men are portrayed. Men are universally portrayed in the media as incompetent, childish, bungling, shallow, insensitive and aggressive. If you want a real primer on how to hate men, you don't need to go any farther than watching the Dr. Phil show where the Champ of Men Haters will always go after the man in a relationship for his failings.

3. Read women's magazines and support your views that men are shallow, only want sex and that they are easily tricked into doing anything you want them to do. When you try those "Never Fail Bedroom Tricks That Drive Men Wild Every Time," and your husband doesn't respond exactly how the magazine describes they will, you've got foolproof information that your husband is impossible, since the magazine clearly demonstrates that real men will respond to these methods every time.

4. Believe the myth that men are bad at relationships. This one is great because no one can dispel it. All you have to do is point out the ways that your husband forgets little things that are so important to you and clearly doesn't really care for you or think about you. You can gather data to support the conclusion that men are bad at relationships day in and day out. This really helps your cause of fueling your hatred for your husband.

5. Focus on every little thing he does wrong with the kids, with you. Part of this is demonstrating to your own satisfaction that he's bad at relationships, but you can go much farther with this if you use a little creativity. Surely there are all kinds of ways you can point out that he over-punishes the children, doesn't understand them, says inappropriate things with them, with you, with your family and with your friends. You can make a huge list of the things he said he was going to do but never got around to.

6. Confuse him with contradictory requests for strength and sensitivity and then make a conclusion that he's confused. On the one hand you definitely want him to be a strong man. On the other, you definitely want him to be sensitive. It's very important never to give him enough information to act on either one of those parts of his character.

For example, when you're feeling like you just want to be held, make sure you never tell him that, so you can conclude that if he really loved you, he would know that. Then you can sit there and fume at him for being an insensitive brute.

Or let's say that some guy cuts in front of you in line while you and your husband are at the grocery store and he doesn't confront the guy (and neither do you). Then you can think "what a wimp my husband is" and quietly conclude he's not doing his job as a man.

Above all, always make sure never to give him enough information so he can't know what you are wanting from him. You can always know inside that if he really loved you, he would already know, and because you're sure that at some time you told him what you wanted, now he's just being a stubborn man who never listens. This kills two birds with one stone.

7. Prove to yourself that men are "children" by finding ways he is not as responsible as he should be, and that instead of meeting his obligations he's always looking for ways to go play instead. I'm sure you can find a lot of examples of that.

And fortunately this move kills many birds with one stone, because at the same time you're concluding (and talking to your man-hating friends who are also concluding) that men are just children and only want to go play and never meet their responsibilities, you can at the same time point out that he never wants to go dancing, hang out romantically with you or do any other fun thing, because he's truly just turned into a stick in the mud.

It is my professional opinion that if you will practice at least one of these seven activities per day (preferably more) you will definitely throw fuel on the fire of your hatred for men, specifically for your husband.

http://www.CouplesCoach.com
- Dr. Max
(c) Dr. Max Vogt

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Love stinks!

2011-04-26T09:12:00.001-07:00

The J Geils Band sang in their hit song from 1980
LOVE STINKS
J. Geils Band
You love her
But she loves him
And he loves somebody else
You just can't win
And so it goes
Till the day you die
Now isn't that a lovely vision of love?

How does it end up this way for so many people?
Let me advance three possibilities.
1. People are horrible and faithless.
2. The guy singing this song is just a loser.

3. These people are walking around in a trance.
I can't accept #1. There are lots of people who are wonderful and faithful.
Number 2 is not quite right, although there's an element of possible truth in it,

If he had a better, clearer mindset about relationships he'd probably find someone better.
Number 3 is dead on.
99% of all problems in relationships come about because people are in a trance.

This is a trance deliberately created by movies, television, books and magazines.
The more you stay in that trance, the more garbage they can produce that convinces you even further that "love stinks" (although you long for it).

There's only one way out of that trance, and that is to know the truth.
I swear to tell you the whole truth and nothing but the truth about relationships.

Let's start here
http://www.CouplesCoach.com
- Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

A prayer for a married person

2011-04-08T09:42:00.001-07:00

I offer this because so many people are in pain about their marriage, and they don't know where to
turn.
You can do a lot - make a lot of changes and improvements - on your own, but the true source of help comes from God.

=====
Dear God
Help me go beyond my own limitations.
Help me see my spouse as the truly radiant being he or she is.

Help me see him or her as a new person each day.
Help me look beyond petty grievances I may have against my spouse.
Help me stay out of temptation to be disloyal in any way.

Help me let go of old histories which may keep me bound in anger or distrust.
Help me realize that it is not mine to forgive my spouse but it is Yours, God.

Because I have no right to judge anyone.
Help me look for ways to love more and accept more and understand better.
Turn me away from those who judge men or women negatively.

Turn me away from the gossips and hurtful people who don't see marriage as a true sign of Your Love for us.
Turn me toward Your love and help me show it to my spouse.

Help me be a better friend, lover and husband or wife to my spouse.
Show me where and how I can become more accepting and less judging.
Show me where and how I can grow as a person and be more loving.

Each day I vow to be more loving, more grateful and more tolerant.
Help me on my path to true, happy, complete marriage.
Amen
===========
- Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

How do you get rid of the guilt?

2011-04-05T07:15:00.001-07:00

George wrote me.
A lot has happened in the last few years in his financial life.
He's lost his business, the family's main car and the family's house.

His 2 sons, 1 daughter and wife are living in a small apartment.
They used to live in a big sprawling house.
Now he feels ashamed and guilty.
He feels he's lost the respect of his wife and kids forever.
He wrote me and asked me "How do I get rid of the guilt?"
Here's what I wrote:

Dear George:
You can't.
Not on your own.
And your wife and kids can't take it away from you either.
Even if they "forgave you" it wouldn't be enough.
You'll have to go to a bigger - the true - source of forgiveness and guilt reduction.
You'll have to go to God and get help.

Ask for your burden to be lifted and for direct help.
That's the only way.
There are some things in life that we can do on our own and can be great at them.

This is not one of those.
How you do that is up to you.
God will heal you and help you in ways you never can do it yourself.
You don't have to do penance.

It's not about your being punished.
It's about your starting your life back up again.
If I had a simpler or more "behavioral" way that worked I'd tell you.

But I'm telling you the thing that will help you and make a difference for you... the ONLY thing.
I hope that helps you.
Dr. Max
Now if YOU really want to know how to completely turn around your marriage with God's help:
http://www.EasyMarriageCounseling.com/3index.html

I show you ALL the steps in the Science of Happy Marriage.

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Husband school

2011-03-30T08:26:00.001-07:00

Most men want to be great husbands.
But we don't want to be criticized for our efforts either.
And we don't want gobbledegook from some therapist.
We just want instructions.
Do this, don't do that.
But we DON'T want you ladies telling us that!
And we aren't going to ask our guy friends or anyone else how to do it.

So I snuck one in here.
Guys, this is just simple, follow this information
http://www.MakeHerAppreciateYou.com

- Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

The importance of rapid improvement in your marriage

2011-03-29T07:36:00.001-07:00

Patience may be a virtue but it can also cause more problems.
Most of the time when things are going wrong in your marriage, it's bad to wait.
What happens is that small things build up and accumulate.

Maybe something that's "no big deal" right now becomes a big deal tomorrow.
You let something go, a comment about your in-laws.
Maybe a little flirtation you saw your husband have with a woman.

Maybe a parenting question.
You let it go because you don't want to fight.
But at the same time, it sticks in your craw.
But what are you supposed to do about it, fight about everything?

NO.
What you are supposed to do about it is to have a plan to deal with things NOW.
Something simple and quick and easy.
Something you understand.

Something which is not therapist gobbledegook.
But at the same time is solid professional help.
That's why I made Ten Days to Save Your Marriage.

You can use it five minutes from now.
Here's where to find it.
http://www.TenDaysToAGoodMarriage.com

Bless you and yours,
- Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Where is the source of your wealth?

2011-03-26T14:25:00.001-07:00

Ever wonder how the rich REALLY get richer?
It isn't what you think.
This page explains:
http://www.MoneyInYourMind.com

Everyone needs more money, this shows you how to get it.
- Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

How to recover after your partner has an affair

2011-03-26T13:00:00.001-07:00

One of the most devastating things you can discover is that your partner is having an affair.
Especially when you had no clue.
Especially when you truly felt that your life together was very good.

Maybe not perfect... but very good.
Overly clever therapists and other "relationship helpers" like to say it's partly your fault.
I think that is not only cruel, it misses the point.

The point is when you are betrayed you have to reconstruct your whole life.
It rips you apart like almost nothing else in your life will.
And THEN all kinds of people have advice for you.

They tell you to "move on" but no one tells you how.
For decades I've seen people struggle with being in your position.
Betrayed, confused, not knowing what to do next.

I want to share with you what I've told them.
Go here for some answers:
http://www.ThriveAfterTheAffair.com

- Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

God wants you to connect in your marriage.

2011-03-18T07:51:00.001-07:00

There is a force bigger and higher than you.

God and Relationship - the forces that are in and behind everything in the universe - want you to connect.

They want you to have a happy marriage.

Once you hook up with that force you cannot help but have a wonderful positive and successful marriage.

They are the source of all.

The closer you are to God and Relationship, the more joy and wellbeing you'll have.

The farther you are from God and Relationship, the more doubt, pain and suffering you'll have.

It's a LAW.
Find out more here
http://www.EasyMarriageCounseling.com/3index.html

- Dr. Max

============0============

Ask Dr. Max, POB 2532, 18229 Royal Plum Way, Nevada City, CA 95959, USA

To unsubscribe or change subscriber options visit:
http://www.aweber.com/z/r/?jKycbBzMnLQsHJyszKzMTLRmtBxsjBzMbOw=

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Weekend sex tip March 19-20 2011

2011-03-17T07:07:00.001-07:00

When you have a fun trip coming up, you are looking forward to it.
When there's a big game or a big event in your child's life coming...
When a child is going to be born...

When you get to move into the new house...
When you get to see a long-lost friend once again...
When you're next going to have sex together... WHAT?

For many married couples the anticipation of sex isn't there.
After all, you can have it "any" time (but you don't much anymore).
For this weekend I suggest you make a "sex date" with each other this weeekend.

Decide where and when you're going to rendezvous.
If you already have a time you normally have sex on the weekend, change it.
Instead of Sunday afternoon (or in addition) make a different time.

And spice it up.
Decide you're going to do something sexually you haven't for a long time.
Or something new.
Talk about it in advance - that's the most important part of this.

OK, what is sex?
You decide.
If it's intercourse, sure.
If it's exchanging backrubs then that.
Another time we'll talk about what sex is.
For now, just make that date.
- Dr. Max
And for the best married sex of your life, here
http://www.lovesexandmarriage.com

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Ten days to a better marriage (the easy way)

2011-03-16T06:48:00.001-07:00

If you ask one of my colleagues about marital change, they'll say it's hard.
Especially if you have a long term history of conflict or unhappiness.

They'll say it takes a long time, concentrated effort and determination.
And privately they'll tell one another that couples are impossible
Most of them would rather cozy up with individual patients.

It's much easier and less threatening that way.
But I don't blame them.
If I thought the way they do about marital happiness and change, I'd do the same.

But I don't.
I believe - and can prove from many years of documentation - that change can be easy.
If you want to be happier in your marriage, there's the hard way and the easy way.

There's the long way and the short way.
Here's the easy way. The short cut:
http://www.TenDaysToAGoodMarriage.com

- Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

How to be a better husband (let me save your bacon)

2011-03-15T07:37:00.001-07:00

Most of us husbands have discovered the hard way we don't know how to do the job.
By the hard way I mean, mostly we've been informed of what we're NOT doing.
By our wives.

Different guys respond to this in different ways.
Some get an attitude.
Some feel insulted.
Some get indifferent.
Some go have affairs.
Some really want to figure it out but don't know where the user's manual is.
I worked on this one for quite a while, both as a professional and a husband.

Now I'm going to save your bacon:
http://www.MakeHerAppreciateYou.com
- Dr. Max

P.S. No nonsense, just the straight skinny.
http://www.MakeHerAppreciateYou.com

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Old wounds, affairs and healing

2011-03-14T06:42:00.001-07:00

Most long term marriages carry scars.

At one time or another over the years, somebody felt betrayed.

It just happens.

It can be the result of affairs.

It might because of disagreements.

It might be because of money losses, parenting differences, in-law troubles.

And it might be because you feel your partner isn't who they claimed to be.

You may feel let down, disappointed.

Can you heal those old wounds?

The answer is NO.

You cannot heal them.

Your partner cannot heal them.

Something greater than you is needed.

There is something beyond what we usually call "forgiveness."

Something much deeper.

Something much better than "healing old wounds."

Something which heals far more deeply.

I'll tell you about it in this presentation

http://www.ThriveAfterTheAffair.com
To your great relationship future,

Dr. Max

P.S. Dramatic breakthroughs happen. I hear about them every day.

Some call them miracles. I call it good science:
http://www.ThriveAfterTheAffair.com

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

How are things in the bedroom?

2011-03-13T14:21:00.001-07:00

It's wonderful to have intimate conversations.
To spend time together enjoying each other's company.
But, let's be frank.
How are things in the bedroom?

Not great?
If that's your situation (and for most people it is), then it's time for some clear, simple and straightforward help.
Here ya go

http://www.lovesexandmarriage.com
- Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Half-Price Sale Ends Tomorrow at Midnight

2011-03-12T14:31:00.001-08:00

There's a famous television comedian who tells people in their marriage who are being stubborn "you're just wastin' daylight."

Well there's no need to waste daylight anymore.

It's time to use some up in the right way.

The right way is this.

http://www.EasyMarriageCounseling.com/daylight

- Dr. Max

P.S. Half Price Sale Ends Sunday night at midnight EST!

http://www.EasyMarriageCounseling.com/daylight

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Are You With the Right Person? Here's How to Find out

2011-03-11T07:42:00.001-08:00

It's a natural enough question, and one you've probably asked yourself.

"Am I with the right person?"

Let me just say this before we go any further.

You probably are with the right person.

But maybe in the wrong way.

Assuming you're married, at one time weren't you pretty sure you were marrying the right person?

(Some people have a bad feeling from the beginning, I hope that's not you.)

So let's change the question to this:

How could I be with my partner in a way that feels right?

The fastest, simplest and best way to get there is...

to begin to function on the Creative and not the Competitive Plane.

Almost everyone I've ever shown how to do this finds out something.

They find out that they are indeed with the right person.

But because of cultural mmisunderstandings they were doubting.

Use the Creative method and not the Competitive one.

It will make all the difference.
And now, I'm having a 50% off Daylight Savings Special Sale
http://www.EasyMarriageCounseling.com/daylight

- Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Daylight Savings Time Special (50% off)

2011-03-10T08:36:00.001-08:00

There's a famous television comedian who tells people in their marriage who are being stubborn "you're just wastin' daylight."

Well there's no need to waste daylight anymore.

It's time to use some up in the right way.

The right way is this.

http://www.EasyMarriageCounseling.com/daylight

- Dr. Max

P.S. Half Price Sale Ends Sunday night at midnight!

http://www.EasyMarriageCounseling.com/daylight

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Well-being, health, happiness and wealth can be yours IF...

2011-03-07T07:20:00.001-08:00

Research study after research study prove it.

Being happy in marriage is the best thing you can do.

It produces more overall health.

It produces more wealth.

It produces a greater sense of well-being.

It produces more internal confidence.

It produces a sense of calm and pleasure.

Happily married people have a better life.

Stay on the path... the more you follow the Prescribed Way, the better.

Get started here:
http://www.EasyMarriageCounseling.com

- Dr. Max

--
Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

God wants you to be happy in your marriage

2011-03-06T10:58:00.001-08:00

There is a force bigger and higher than you.
God and Relationship - the forces that are in and behind everything in the universe - want you to connect.
They want you to have a happy marriage.

Once you hook up with that force you cannot help but have a wonderful positive and successful marriage.
They are the source of all.
The closer you are to God and Relationship, the more joy and wellbeing you'll have.

The farther you are from God and Relationship, the more doubt, pain and suffering you'll have.
It's a LAW.
Learn more about it here
http://www.EasyMarriageCounseling.com
- Dr. Max
==================0============

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

The only chance you'll ever have to be truly loved in this life

2011-03-04T07:39:00.001-08:00

Marriage - true marriage - is the best chance you'll ever have to be known and loved in this life.

All other relationships can have a wonderful aspect and pleasure and meaning to them.

But all other relationships are, by definition, limited.

Your children can never know you fully.

Your friends can never know you fully.

Even your best friend can never know you fully.

They don't sleep with you.
They don't have to deal with you when you are not at your best.

They don't have to deal with being taken for granted!

Only the intimacy of marriage offers these opportunities fully.

Being known completely and being loved completely.

That's the ultimate joy in this life.
Here's where to start with true marriage:

http://www.EasyMarriageCounseling.com

= Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Weekend Marriage Tip: Bathe Your Partner in Pure Light

2011-02-25T07:02:00.001-08:00

It's easy to get caught up in daily life.
There are always 27 hours of things to do in 24.
Especially if you have kids, jobs, in-laws, and other parts of life to deal with.

Most of us probably try to do too much.
But unless you make a conscious decision to slow down, you probably won't.
And during periods of life it's just fine.

What's not fine is if you get very stressed and forget what's important.
The most important part of life - outside of your relationship with God - is your marriage.

Have you spent 5 minutes today improving your relationship with your partner?
I don't mean pushing on them for changes you want.
You know my method in the Science of Happy Marriage is against that kind of coercion.

Yes, sometimes it's very difficult to coordinate your schedule with your partner's.
Maybe you don't even HAVE 5 minutes to spend together each day for deepening your marriage.

Maybe your partner isn't even "into" taking time out for that.
No matter, there's something you can do which is very powerful.
It might sound a little strange to you if you aren't used to such things.

But it can have a very powerful effect.
Here's what you do.
Just see your partner in your mind's eye.
Forget all about the daily life issues, "problems" or disagreements or anything else.

Just visualize him or her...
Then bathe him or her in pure light.
Just imagine light streaming down and through and all around your partner.
Do this for a couple minutes.
You don't need to keep doing that for very long.
It's not a marathon or an ordeal.
Just imagine that pure light streaming down on, through and around your partner.

Then notice how differently - at least for that moment - you feel and think about him or her.
It may even be a few seconds difference.
But if you do this, you WILL feel differently and think differently about your partner.

Now would you like that state of positive feeling and thinking to be in your marriage ALL the time, going both ways?
Toward your partner and toward you too?

Pure light, pure joy, pure pleasure, pure love?
Here's where to get started:
http://www.EasyMarriageCounseling.com

- Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

How may I help you?

2011-02-24T10:15:00.001-08:00

How may I help you?
I'd like to be of service to you in having a better marriage.

Have you already seen my program at

http://www.EasyMarriageCounseling.com/3index.html
It's my masterwork of 30 years of helping couples have great marriages.
It "goes around" all the "problem solving" solutions out there to the heart of the matter.
The true heart of the matter.
But apparently there's something wrong... for you.
You haven't gotten the program yet.
Is it the price?
Is it that you don't believe it can help you?
Is it that you want something different?
How may I serve you better?
Please write me at
DrMax@easymarriagecounseling.com
and let me know.
I'll help in any way I can.
Sincerely,
- Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Are you with the right person?

2011-02-24T07:01:00.001-08:00

It's a natural enough question, and one you've probably asked yourself.
"Am I with the right person?"
Let me just say this before we go any further.

You probably are with the right person.
But maybe in the wrong way.
Assuming you're married, at one time weren't you pretty sure you were marrying the right person?

(Some people have a bad feeling from the beginning, I hope that's not you.)
So let's change the question to this:
How could I be with my partner in a way that feels right?

The fastest, simplest and best way to get there is...
to begin to function on the Creative and not the Competitive Plane.
Almost everyone I've ever shown how to do this finds out something.

They find out that they are indeed with the right person.
But because of cultural mmisunderstandings they were doubting.
Use the Creative method and not the Competitive one.

It will make all the difference.
I explain it all here:
http://www.EasyMarriageCounseling.com

- Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

You don't understand how hard it is for us, Dr. Max

2011-02-22T08:49:00.001-08:00

I hear it every day.
"Dr. Max, you just don't understand our situation.
It's different and worse than for others."
Not true.
Everybody has the same relationship issues when there are challenges.
I don't care if you are young or old.
I don't care what your race is, your cultural background or your religion.

It's all exactly the same.
And there is one universal answer to every marriage challenge.
It's right here
http://www.EasyMarriageCounseling.com/3index.html

- Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

If you're not married, here's why

2011-02-17T16:08:00.001-08:00

Then I hope you have a sense of humor.
This is a bit of a stinging, sizzling editorial.
But of course it applies equally well to people who are married but doing a lousy job of it

Read it here
Disclaimer: No, I didn't write it :-)
- Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Save Your Marriage

Resentments and affairs... how to move on

bless your wife

Terrifying Intimacy -- Can you handle it?

Don't Argue

I hear you, I'm listening

What is a Soul Mate?

Clint Eastwood and your marriage...

How to win the Super Bowl of Marriage (Men Only. No peeking, gals)

Find out if you're going to get a divorce, or be happily married http://www.EasyMarriageCounseling.com

Groundhog Marriage

Rule #1 for a happy marriage

If you wish to reap the fruits of a happy marriage

The deepest and most powerful secrets of marriage

The Science of Happy Marriage is an Exact Science

It is for men and women who want a great relationship NOW

Eight Signs of a Great Relationship

Divorce busting

Acupuncture for erectile dysfunction

How to recover from Infidelity

How Do We Stop Arguing?

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time

What counts in making a happy marriage is...

What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility. - Leo Tolstoy

Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others.

Anger repressed can poison a relationship as surely as the cruelest words

Anger repressed can poison a relationship as surely as the cruelest wordsDr Joyce Brothers

Are there any places online that you can do online marriage counseling for a reasonable/small price?

How to keep love strong when life gets a little crazy

Have to stand on your head to be appreciated?

I love you but I'm not IN love with you

Terrifying Intimacy

What to expect from couples counseling (may shock)

Relationships are not just giving, and they are not just taking

Being in love and how it changes you

How to learn and succeed

Singer Monica... Would you marry YOUR partner all over again and profess your love?

It's the differences in relationships that...

Angelina Jolie on Brad Pitt

Resentment and forgiveness (perhaps unpopular view)

My girlfriend is seeing another man

Great companionship in marriage (a secret)

Is your wife your queen?

Loving Requires Courage - True Marriage Requires Courage

if you're not in love you're wasting your life (video)

being loved gives you strength, loving gives you...

If you're not in love, you're wasting your life

‎"I am in love - and, my God, it is the greatest thing that can happen to a man. I tell you, find a woman you can fall in love with. Do it. Let yourself fall in love. If you have not done so already, you are wasting your life." - D. H. Lawrence

A letter from their heart, urgent about their marriage

Mike Tyson and Lakiha Spicer Renew Wedding Vows (Video)... I think it's admirable

Mike Tyson and Wife Lakiha Spicer Renew Wedding Vows

Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds' Divorce Finalized

I made this youtube video for you (WARNING)

Marriage: What you believe is what is true

Your identity in marriage (video)

Don't SMOTHER each other!

Follow your heart (but...)

Push a little on your partner - be generous!

Minka Kelly supports her boyfriend Derek Jeter

It isn't what you have that makes you happy

The space between you

problems in relationships occur because...

married people are not happier than single people

Relationships and REVENGE

Are men happier in marriage than women?

marriage counseling: the idiot experts are at it again

Come on over to my place

monogamy in marriage | Some moron is always questioning it | Mariage Counseling News

NOW will you listen to me? (Oprah on the way out)

Infidelity in marriage

Could Facebook Ruin Your Marriage?

Affirming your marriage or negating your marriage? - marriage advice

Tired or bored of being married?

Weekend Sex Tip 5.13.11 (Top Secret - Men Only)

What have you done for me lately? (Marriage Advice)

Marriage problems related to infants’ sleep difficulties

Aimless marriage vs. goals marriage

Is this the answer to extramarital affairs?

Don't argue

7 Ways To Fuel Your Hatred for Your Husband (Cheat Sheet)

Anger repressed can poison a relationship as surely as the cruelest words
Dr Joyce Brothers