Love stinks!

The J Geils Band sang in their hit song from 1980

LOVE STINKS
J. Geils Band

You love her 
But she loves him
And he loves somebody else
You just can't win 
And so it goes
Till the day you die

Now isn't that a lovely vision of love?

How does it end up this way for so many people?

Let me advance three possibilities.

1. People are horrible and faithless.

2. The guy singing this song is just a loser.

3. These people are walking around in a trance.

I can't accept #1.  There are lots of people who are wonderful and faithful.

Number 2 is not quite right, although there's an element of possible truth in it,

If he had a better, clearer mindset about relationships he'd probably find someone better.

Number 3 is dead on.

99% of all problems in relationships come about because people are in a trance.

This is a trance deliberately created by movies, television, books and magazines.

The more you stay in that trance, the more garbage they can produce that convinces you even further that "love stinks" (although you long for it).

There's only one way out of that trance, and that is to know the truth.

I swear to tell you the whole truth and nothing but the truth about relationships.

Let's start here

http://www.CouplesCoach.com

- Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

A prayer for a married person

I offer this because so many people are in pain about their marriage, and they don't know where to 

turn.

You can do a lot - make a lot of changes and improvements - on your own, but the true source of help comes from God.

=====

Dear God

Help me go beyond my own limitations.

Help me see my spouse as the truly radiant being he or she is.

Help me see him or her as a new person each day.

Help me look beyond petty grievances I may have against my spouse.

Help me stay out of temptation to be disloyal in any way.

Help me let go of old histories which may keep me bound in anger or distrust.

Help me realize that it is not mine to forgive my spouse but it is Yours, God.

Because I have no right to judge anyone.

Help me look for ways to love more and accept more and understand better.

Turn me away from those who judge men or women negatively.

Turn me away from the gossips and hurtful people who don't see marriage as a true sign of Your Love for us.

Turn me toward Your love and help me show it to my spouse.

Help me be a better friend, lover and husband or wife to my spouse.

Show me where and how I can become more accepting and less judging.

Show me where and how I can grow as a person and be more loving.

Each day I vow to be more loving, more grateful and more tolerant.

Help me on my path to true, happy, complete marriage.

Amen

===========

- Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

How do you get rid of the guilt?

George wrote me.

A lot has happened in the last few years in his financial life.

He's lost his business, the family's main car and the family's house.

His 2 sons, 1 daughter and wife are living in a small apartment.

They used to live in a big sprawling house.

Now he feels ashamed and guilty.

He feels he's lost the respect of his wife and kids forever.

He wrote me and asked me "How do I get rid of the guilt?"

Here's what I wrote:

Dear George:

You can't.

Not on your own.

And your wife and kids can't take it away from you either.

Even if they "forgave you" it wouldn't be enough.

You'll have to go to a bigger - the true - source of forgiveness and guilt reduction.

You'll have to go to God and get help.

Ask for your burden to be lifted and for direct help.

That's the only way.

There are some things in life that we can do on our own and can be great at them.

This is not one of those.

How you do that is up to you.

God will heal you and help you in ways you never can do it yourself.

You don't have to do penance.

It's not about your being punished.

It's about your starting your life back up again.

If I had a simpler or more "behavioral" way that worked I'd tell you.

But I'm telling you the thing that will help you and make a difference for you... the ONLY thing.

I hope that helps you.

Dr. Max

Now if YOU really want to know how to completely turn around your marriage with God's help:

http://www.EasyMarriageCounseling.com/3index.html

I show you ALL the steps in the Science of Happy Marriage.

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce