I love you but I'm not IN love with you

How many times have those words been uttered?

I love you but I'm not "in love" with you.

And yet as the writer in the story discovers, when asked what that means, no one seems to know.

The premise of this study is the same problematic issue as in all the studies of marriage longevity I've ever read.

They look at the data.

But the data is only a self-confirming message of what everyone's already hearing.

In other words, people get divorced more or less because they think they "ought to."

Before you go thinking that's way too weird, read this excerpt from an article in reporternews.

Divorce rates are dipping slightly, but experts say that may not mean marriages are much more likely to succeed than they have in the past.

According to the most recent U.S. census, about 75 percent of the couples married since 1990 reported reaching their 10th anniversary, up about 3 percent above their counterparts who married in the decade before.

However, the same data revealed that about half of first marriages are destined to end in divorce.

Although that may appear to be contradictory, researchers cited a few reasons for the findings. One is the number of couples cohabiting rather than marrying. Another is the rising age at which most couples marry.

In 1950, the average age of a man marrying for the first time was 23, with 20 the average age for women. In 2010, it was 28 for men and 26 for women. The older average age of newlyweds would suggest more affluence and better education.

"Research has shown that the more educated you are, the less likely you are to get divorced," said Stephen Willis, a marriage counselor with Turning Point, a counseling service in Abilene.

Likewise, the older someone is when they get married, the more likely he or she is to stay married, up to a point.

"I hate to use the word "doomed," but teenage marriages have a very low success rate," Willis said. "From 21 to 30, the chances of a marriage being successful increase with each year. After 31, it tends to level out."

According to the census data, the so-called seven-year itch still persists. However, it is just the statistical average of when most marriages fail. Although there are notable examples of long-term marriages ending in divorce, the census data show that most people who are unhappy in a marriage find out quickly.

Willis said the phenomenon is not so much psychological as it is physiological.

"In the first two years of a relationship, the body produces chemicals that go away after time," he said. "It's natural. I'll often have people come in and say, 'I love my wife, but I'm not in love with her anymore.' I'll ask them what that means, and they'll say 'I don't know.'"

Now, I ask you, why doesn't the person know what they mean by that?

Here's the answer... they don't know how to see, think or feel about love or about their partner.

If you are EVER going to be happily married and stay that way, you need to know how to think, feel and see.

Let me show you how to totally transform your experience of your marriage and your partner in just five minutes in the morning and 5 minutes in the evening.

http://www.MagicalMarriageCure.com

- Dr. Max

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Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce