I recently received an email from a couple I saw for a few sessions many years ago.
Because of a job transfer, they needed to move before we really even got started on counseling.
But I felt a bond with them and they with me, so every once in a while they write me.
Today I got a heart-wrenching note from them.
They've been in counseling, gone to their pastor and read a lot of books.
They've tried and tried in their marriage.
They love each other very deeply but just don't seem to be able to make a go of it.
I wrote back, friends, stop looking for love in the wrong places.
It's not in the "usual" counseling methods where you'll find how to have a happy marriage.
None of the counselors, pastors or other advice givers will help you with the answers.
They are all starting from the wrong place.
It's NOT new behaviors, communication skills, self-analysis, being kinder or any of that.
None of the "usual" counseling methods will help most people
Nothing is going to change with any of these methods because they start from the wrong place.
There's something else stopping you.
It's the fact that you do not have nor how to use a certain way.
Something inside of you is against the marriage.
That something needs to be turned around and it needs to be turned around NOW.
Either you make this change or your marriage WILL be destroyed.
You have to have this, it is the only answer for you.
You don't stop a forest fire by being a better person.
You don't stop it by throwing one bucked of water on it.
You stop it by massive action.
This is the massive and powerful action you have to take right now.
- Dr. Max
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Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce
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